Sex Education At Hogwarts
by TwinsOfMischief
Summary: To finally get to his nemises, Lord Voldermort comes up with a plan. To return to Hogwarts at his Seventeen your old body and to become the Sex Education Teacher. There he has to teach the sixt and seventh years sex ed and to get closer to Harry Potter, w
1. Chapter 1

Shadow: Ya know. This is our second story that we have started, yet we havent posted the first one. Well..It is on my friends other laptob and we cant get onto it. By the way , it's called," The twisted life of Star Wars". But this one isnt. We have decided to write another one and put up here...So here we go!

Shadow: YAY ANOTHER STORY! I LOVE WRITING STORIES! -runs around screaming with her underwear on her head and a curtain around her neck running around screaming" I AM SUPERWOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR!" -pauses- " Meow"

-A regal shadow enters the room.- " Stop your frolicing around you impudent imp!" Looks to the people" My name is Natasha. If you spell that backwards it spells ...' Ah..Satan' So yes. Please call me Natasha though." Looks to shadow." Stupid git. Now. Here we go on with our story...Please review!"

Shadow: Ice bitch..-mutters-

Disclaimer: Sorry darlings, we dont own these characters. Except for a couple who may walk in later.

CHAPTER !

INTRODUCTION TO THE STORY!

Voldermort at the age of sixty-nine was currently stalking his hideaway when a brilliant idea struck his brain. " If I cant kill the little brat then i'll beat him at his own game! And at his own age." Laughs quite evily.

4 months later in lovely school of Hogwarts the trio of friends walked aimlessly along the corridors on the way to SEX EDUCATION CLASS!

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" was the scream that was heard ringing throughtout the school. One might ask what in the seven hells caused something to scream like that, and that my friends was the sex-god himself, Draco Malfoy.

Harry, " Oh shove it Malfoy..It's only sex ed class, suck it up. Or are you to big of a wimp to handle a little. Sex education?"

Malofy said, "Oh fuck off Potter no one asked for your opinion." He sneered and then Hermione rolled her eyes and Ron spat, "Whatever Malfoy! You just want to be partners with Harry you big poof!"

Draco paled while muttering under his breath shoving away a first year out of his way and stormed into the classroom. Then fifteen screams were heard from the classroom, "OH MY GOD! IT'S LORD VOLDERMORT!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Was heard and Harry, Ron, and Hermione grabbed their wands and raced into the rooms as Voldermort was banishing the bodies and heard him say, "God I hate those damn fangirls."

Hermione passed out from seeing Lord Voldermort standing right there cleaning up dead bodies. The man in question looked up and blinked. " Someone wake her. I will not have anyone pass out in my class."

" Your class?" Asked a bewildered Harry Potter.

" Yes my class, now shut up and sit down!" A long silent eerie pause.

" But aren't you going to try and take over the school?" Asked Harry yet again. Voldermort reached in his black robes and pulled out a little book and began flipping through the pages. " Yes, that is after this year and after I finish with this class….Now sit down and shut up or so help me." Harry sat down making the man smiled. " Good."

He turned turned away and waved his hand making the door closed, and sighed. Mr. Malfoy if you bow to me again, I will personally call your father to come deal with you because I really don't want to deal with your snootyness today."

Draco blushed at being caught bowing to his master and sat down in the far back.

After a moment or two people looking apprehensive at the fact of having the dark lord in their classroom, the man turned around and set a small smile. " Welcome students, this is class is for sixth and seventh years only.. I am Tom Riddle, or better known throughout the wizarding world, Lord Voldermort. But that is neither here or there. This year I will teach you the finer points of Sex Education. Muggles call it Sex Ed. But we will call it Sex Education for that is the proper name. There will be no nicknames for anything, especially for the words: Penis, Vagina, Breats : Those are just for example. In our first lesson we will learn a few things that you should know, but if you don't that is fine and we will cover it no matter what." He took a large breath and sighed in annoyance at a young girl's hand in the air. " Yes Ms. Granger?"

" How can we trust you? I mean, your fucking Lord Voldermort!" She exclaimed.

He sighed and shook his head. " If you say fucking one more time I'm going to bump you up into my to kill list after this year. And shut up. You can trust me because Albus trusts me to teach you this course to the best of my ability. Any more questions? Yes? Well I'm not going to answer them because we only have a limited time to get through things. "

He paced around the classroom with a clipboard tucked under his arm and a pair of spectacles on his nose making him look younger. Which in fact, he is indeed younger. In his appearance, his body is lean and muscular, he has his nose and a full head of brown eyes and his eyes aren't red. In truth he is the spitting image of his seventeen year old body. Which in fact he is.

He took in a deep breath before walking back towards the classroom. " For our first thing we will do today is get our partners, no you cannot choose your partners and you will sit wherever your partner is. People will have to move, and if you don't like my arrangement, then you can go talk to the headmaster…Okay. Here it goes, Parkinson and Goyle. Flint with Wood, Longbottom with Zabini, Granger with Crabbe, Weasley with Bulstrode, and Sense there is only two of you left and I need someone to work with me, Potter and Malfoy will sit up here in front of me as partners and will be my partner in things that are difficult to mange."

Harry and Draco grabbed their things and moved up to the front desk to sit in front of their professor kind of liking this side of Voldermort. It was like he was bipolar or something.

Voldermort continued not waiting for people to sit.

" If you plan on taking notes, take out your parchment and quills and began writing. Today we will be learning about STD's, otherwise known as Sexually Transmitted Disease. There are various diseases that fall into this category which are and these are the most known , Gonorrhea, Syphilis which can be seriously uncomfortable if you come in contact with these diseases. These are mostly known in the Muggle world, but I still find it beniefical that you as students should know what is out there in the world. Now, the best and effective way to not contract this disease is to not have sex at all. But if you have, I suggest or strongly recommend that you go get yourself checked by Madame Pomfrey after this class. Now, I know not many of you know what this is, but you are now going to learn. To help keep both parties who are engaging in sexual activities must keep themelves protected. But if you are already infected, then the other partner is probally going to get infected as well. Even though you do use these." Conjours up a condom in mid air making it hover above his hand for everyone to see. " This is a Condom. During intercourse this helps for when a man ejaculats into the woman or man it creates to where the sperm is blocked by the condom. In general a condom is only 99.99 percent effective. No Mr Goyle, the condom does not go in the penis it goes around it. Now, we are going to practice putting the condom's on. No not on eachother. On this!" Conjours up a dildo. " If you look down each one of you will have one dildo and one condom. You must put the condom on the dildo and once you are finished please raise your hand and I will come around and give you your first grade of the day…If you are wondering, A dildo is a sex toy that women and men use when they cant get the real thing. Personally I would rather you go out and find the real thing and not this. This would be very embarrising to find in one's dorm if a friend was over."

Voldermort goes around checking students progress of how they were doing. " No Ms Granger. Stretch it out then slip it on. Good. Now..Yes..Good." walks around even more.

Up in front of the class Malfoy leans over to Harry. " You know Potter, this is interesting, us being partnered together with your nemises and my lord."

Harry just shrugged sitting back just as Malfoy was because they had completed their assignment within five minutes and received an 100 for today. " I guess it's going to fun. You know. My wildest fantasies are going to come true."

" Oh and what is that Potter?" Malfoy asked.

Harry smirked. " I will finally get to see you naked."

Draco sputtered and coughed looking away with a flush to his cheeks. He was about to respond back to that comment before his professor came back up and began speaking again. " Now that everyone has taken notes, and completed their assignments, your homework is to write a 6 inch paper on STDs, Condoms and Dildos, and have it on my desk before we meet for our next class. And your other part of your homework is to go to the hospital wing and get yourselfs checked out. No one can skip this assignment, it will be done, for I have sent a list of who is in my class to Madame Pomfrey and she will check off who she checks and sends it back to me so I know who showed up and who didn't. If you didn't you will fail. And it has to be done before we meet again. Now. Dismissed!" He said unlocking the door and made his way to his rooms so no students could bother him.

Inside his chamber he began to mutter. " Oh yes, this is going to be fun. Fun indeed. I cant wait to get to the other chapters where they will interact with eachother. Oh yes, fun indeed…And I will get to study Harry Potter and learn his habits to get my revenge for what he did to me when he was just a baby. Oh yes, REVENGE WILL BE MINE!" He begins to laugh maniacly into his room.

Out in the classroom stood a very timid Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. They had just heared their teachers words and were scared stiff. " What is he going to do to us?" They asked at once then raced out of the room to go find their friends to relay what they had just heard.

End of Chapter 1. Hope you folks enjoyed. It. Please Review! We love Reviews!

TwinsOfMischief


	2. Chapter 2

Shadow: And so we continue with our story…Wait…Which one was this one again

Shadow: And so we continue with our story…Wait…Which one was this one again?? Damnation! FLOWER!! Which one are we working on again? –Whines at-

Flower: I don't know! I haven't read any updates on the ones you've done..

Shadow: But I haven't done any……

Flower: How about we brush up on the sex Education one?

Shadow: Fine by me….We need to get to the smexyness of them all though! – Dances around singing…" I Kissed a girl and I liked it! The taste of her cherry chapstick!"

Flower: Dude…Shush...

Shadow: Damnations! ON WITH THE STORY!!

Sex Education….Chapter 2!!

Back in the Gryffindor Common Room six people sat in a circle concentrating on their sex education papers…Hermione, being the studious one was way beyond the six inches of parchment, that cough lord voldiepants cough assigned and was on her tenth inch. Ron, the idiot was just trying to come up with a single sentence. Harry, the silent observer was just watching finding this situation rather ridiculous and didn't plan on writing a paper. Next is Neville, sitting next to one Harry Potter was being his normal twitchy self and muttering to himself about how they all were going to AK'd by cough Lord Voldymoldy Cough. Seamus who was just dazing off into la la land was wondering how he was going to get into Deans pants while trying to figure out what to write at the same time. While of course the last one in the little orgy group Dean was copying Hermione's paper trying to at least get one A in a class……

Flower: Orgy?? They are not wearing their socks in bed again??

Shadow: No. Now shut up I'm concentrating…

Now down in the SLYTHERINE Common Room…- Dun Dun Dun- One sexy individual of a blonde god can be found lounging against a black leather sofa with one ugly pug face named Pansy fuckface Parkinson can be found fawning over said blonde god…

" God damnit Pansy you fat whore…..Get off of him right now…..If Potter found you like that, you'd be sporting a pair of balls and gentile warts!!" Blaise said holding his hip and examining his perfect nails..

"Forget Potter! I'll do it myself!" drawled an aristocratic voice. Nimble fingers reached in a very expensive set of robes which now has nastiness on them because of Pansy and will have to wash. Pointing his wand at said grossness he mutters, "Nasty balls, warty gentiles, and may your breasts hang below your bellybutton!"

Blaise arched an eyebrow looking away from his nails to examine the mess that was now Pansy fuckface Parkinson… "That…Wasn't a very good curse Draco dear." He sneered down at the whimpering mass of blonde nastiness.

"I learned it from an American Bloke….He said if you just say what you want done. Magic does it quite nicely." Draco replied rather innocently.

"Yeah, you know we are going to have to deal with Sev now….He's going to be right pissed." Blaise muttered and jumped when a satanic voice enetered the slytherin common room.

"DEAR HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS NASTY AND GROSS WHAT THE BLEEDING HELL IS THAT!!" Roared one Severus Snape…

"That." Said Draco, "Is one Pansy Parkinson…Now excuse me I'm going to go wash my robes…They are filthy..." pauses sniffing his robes "might have to burn them……I don't think I can get that shit off…" He muttered going up to his room.

Blaise smirked. "Maybe I should burn all his clothes then maybe potter will see his arse ….You know he wants to Sev."

"That…Is…Disgusting……1 point from Slytherin for that nasty mental image! I do not need to know the sex lives of my students." Severus turned making that cool swirly thing with his robes before storming off out of the common room.

"Awh! But it would be SO cool!! I would get a free show too!" Blaise whined to particularly no one.

"BLAISE!!"

"Eep!" Maniacal laughter could be heard from one Draco Malfoy.

Shadow: Phew…This is a lot of typing. No wonder why we stopped writing stories flower…. Flower: -Chews on a chip – What are you talking about? All I'm doing is speaking…Shadow: Yeah, and I'm doing all the work here…..Curse you woman! Oh look a kitty

Back in Lord Voldermort's chamber one can find a fantastic lord sitting around the fire singing kum-bai-ya and roasting marshmallows with his wand

Gryffindor common room can find yet again the six still sitting in a circle, but this time. Harry is now sitting with his legs propped up while reading muggle astrology books…

"Harry! You must do your homework!" Hermione whined.

"Did you know, that the Greeks created the horoscopes in the sixth century B.C." Harry said absent mindly.

Ron snorted "No wonder why everyone thinks your nutters mate…You go around spouting off random things.."

"No one says anything about when you spout off that you want to screw Mione into the mattress in your sleep." Said Harry making Ron sputter and Hermione squeak like a mouse.

Neville snorted making Dean and Seamus look up at him. "That's not all what he says at night…He also says Blaise has a nice penile erection"

Harry looked up at them with wide eyes. " He really does….Although I think Draco has a nice looking one with a bigger size that I wouldn't mind…"

" Harry! You went snooping into the Slytherin boys showers without me again!?" Luna exclaimed casually waltzing into the room with Ginny at her side.

Harry having the decency to blush at that muttered a small apology then excused himself from the room to go take care of a problem.

Hermione looked at all of them with wide eyes. "I cant believe you Ron…You want to what!? I thought you knew I was a lesbian!"

Ron fell over out of his chair with a squeak. "You're a what!!"

Meanwhile down in Lord Voldermort's chamber , a Mr. Tom Riddle was sticking the melting marshmallow in to his mouth making all sorts of sounds that would make a professional porn star jealous… "Oh my god that's delicious…"

AN: OKAY ONE AND ALL!! We are back!! For a little while at least….

Shadow dances…Flower covers her mouth giggling…You know the routine……PRESS THE LITTLE PURPLE BUTTON AND LEAVE US SOME LOVIN!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry that we havent been back in a while, but here is our excuse.....Flower is still going to college far far away from Shadow, and Shadow just finished with community college and is about to move away to another college, which will put us even further further apart from eachother. * Sad tear* So to all of your wishes, we will update as much as we can, but please dont expect us to continue to update

on a regular basis. We do regret doing this to ya'll but us working on getting our degrees and having jobs is our main priority at the moment.

So without further ado we have a new update for you!!! Please enjoy!!!!!!!

Sex Education At Hogwarts

Chapter 3

Shadow: Godnabmitsunaflowerbiscuits!!!!! Flower, I hate your computer!!!!!

Flower: I hate it too! ....At times*Grins*

Shadow: So, since we haven't updated lets get on with the show!!!

Disclaimer: It's on the first page, go read it there..

********************************************************************************************************************************************

Voldermort sat back in his office thinking of ways to get those damned bratty children to learn about the parts of the body of each species(GENDER?)...

Turning on his magical radio a song from the muggle world that had become famous in the wizarding world filled his ears. Laughng with glee and clapping his hands he pulled out his wand and recorded the song and began to form his lesson plan for the next two days......

20 minutes later students began filing out into the hallways from the greathall. Ron was groaning and rubbing his now swollen stomach and making puffy cheeks as is he was going to barf. In which he did, gloriously and loudly down the back of Pansy Parkinsons robes and hair. Harry turned to his friend with a disgusted look on his face while Hermione was snickering with the rest of the rest of the students.

"Ron, I may not like her for she is a whinny clingy she devil, but that was just cruel. And for that, I am denying all knowledge of your exsistence."

Harry stated with a sneer and walked over to Hermiones side and thumping her in the back of the head, "Shut up, stop laughing at the poor girl, How would you like it if some person you didn't like threw up all over your robes and hair? You wouldnt, you'd be hexing them into the next century." Harry stated before walking ahead away from the two baffoons that he calls friends.

Hermione stopped and thought about what harry said before turning to a open mouth ron and slapped him across his cheek, " Harry is right you are an insisetive jerk who has no manners, Ronald Weasley, I will be informing your mother about this!"

Ron opened his mouth to apologize but all that came out of his mouth was green and yellow and brown spew all over Hermiones face and hair plus all down her robes.

The entire body who was watching the proceedings with rapt interest even Pansy who had been shrieking about her hair since her robes could be fixed stopped to watch the proceedings with baited breathe they all took in a gasp as they saw Hermiones eyes turn to slits and bring out her wand, her mouth opened and the most vilist hex came out of her mouth.

" With all my strength and power, bring to life all the armor and silverware in all of hogwarts to reign down their wrath upon a one Ronald Bilius Weasley! She hissed out between her teeth.

Rons eyes widened even further and squeeked when a suit of armor stepped up behind his estranged friend, " Mi?" He squeeked out before turning tail and running away from her.

Hermione grinned maliciously and swished her wand changing his wardrobe to a litte french maids outfit that left nothing to the imagination while stalking after him throwing stinging

hexes to his now naked backside.

While during all of this Voldermort having heard the confrontation in the hallway conjoured a chair, a large drink and a popcorn and proceeded to sit and munch on his treat while snickering to himself

watching with rapt interest.

McGonagall ran down the hallway and began shooing students to their designated classrooms." Tom Riddle! How dare you sit there and watch those two display such disregard for the school rules, I should have you fired!"

Old Voldy rolled his eyes and looked up at her." Oh shut it Minerva, they are showing good signs from the Sex Education class...For instance, it is classic that the male species does soemthing stupid , in this case, heaving up all his breakfast all over his best friend and another girl. Thus, the friend takes it upon herself to defend the other girls honor and hers and demonstrates violent tendices to get back at the stupid male." He stated factually.

Minerva opened her mouth to retort but stopped short and tilted her head to the side to think for a moment. " Alright, I see your point, clearly this is for showing your students what can happen, but I do expect you to stop them within the next five minutes." She replied before turning away and stalking off to her classroom. Shrugging his shoulders he continued to watch while telling a distraut Pansy to go clean herself off and stay in her room since the trauma of being barfed on by a Weasley would surely be exhausting and would require a nap.

Inside the classroom Harry was shaking his head and muttered " Dumbass" to the empty room, or so he thought was empty "Yes you are, but if you are talking about your weasel then he is the most supidist male in our history, I do believe he has made me wish I was a female because he has insulted us by doing the most idiotic peebrain thing a person can do, for you see Pansy will extract her revenge on the stupid sod."

Harry turned to look at the gorgeous specimen called Draco Malfoy and tried not to salvitate at the sight of the other boy in his black custom made slacks and his school white button up shirts with his robes undone on the side. His hair wasn't slicked back with his bangs hanging down seductively in front of his silver blue eyes. Draco grinned knowing what the look on Harry's face protrayed in his mind. "Tsk tsk tsk potter, drooling over me will only result in you looking foolish when I tell the whole school that you fancy getting into my pants."

Harry's eyes slitted and bared his teeth hissing. Stalking up to the other boy he pushed him up to the wall and trapped him in with his arms. "Don't think for a minute that you can tell the school that I fancy you, because they won't believe you, you fabricate so many lies, I'm still suprised that you have your stuid following. Now as for me fancing getting into your pants, if you want it that bad come to the entrance of the great hall tonight and I'll show you just what you're missing when all the girls and boys recieve when it comes to me."

"Oh please, you wouldnt be able to handle me!" Draco his hands struggled to get away only furthering Harry pushing up against him making it known just what the idea of getting into Draco's pants did to him. Draco's eyes widened and he groaned " And dont manhandle me, I am delicate damnit!" Harry snorted releasing the boy and stepping away. " Tonight, 10..Don't be late Malfoy." Harry turned away and went and sat down at their shared desk leaving Draco standing there wondering what the hell just happened.

Just as soon as Harry sat down the rest of the students began to fill into the classroom with Voldy bringing up the rear." Unfortunantly, Mr. Weasley will have to spend the rest of the day in the infirmary due to mulitple injuries and Ms. Granger, 20 points to Gryfindor for that display of magical knowledge, are you sure you don't want to follow me? I could make it worth your wild?"

Hermione blushed and shook her head,"Fine then we will talk about that later. Malfoy sit down next to Potter...NOW!"

"Now on today's lesson we will learn the fundamental uses of tampons, pads, douches, feminine spray and wipes, the best brands and sizes that should match each female perfectly. We wil also learn the risks of tampons and the sprays if used incorrectly, and at the end of the lesson I will have the girls go behind this screen here and I will glamour all of them to not have any faces so no guy can recognize them, but they will be able to see and they will undress and each of them while you guys will be learning as well in case you ever need to assist to know how to apply a tampon....." He grinned maniacaly when all the students gasped in outrage but went on with his lecture.

"First of we will begin with the pads." He conjoured pads for all the students in front of their faces. " Go ahead and open it and examine it. These are used for girls or women who do not wish to use tampons. They have this unique shape to fit the girls underwear and the thick material

is used to absorb the girls flow when her monthly arrives. It also has these inserts in them to make it to where they won't bleed out onto their clothes, this is really helpful to women who do not wish to go around with blood on their pants. Now, if the girl/woman doesn't use these then they use

tampons. Now, these little buggers when I first encountered them i thought they were projectile missiles but I was sorely wrong when one of them hit a muggle in the head and she proceeded to barate me in front of a crowd and then tell me the uses of them. I found them fascinating so I began to

research them. Now. What these do , is they go inside the womans vaginal cavity and they stay in place, the cotton swab absorbs the blood making it swell, and when it is ready to be changed the woman must pull the little string that is attached to the end of it and remove it carefully, wrap it up

and dispose of it properly...Now...All the girls come up here and get behind this screen, strip and whenever youre ready i'll say the incantation and then you'll come out and all of you will go to a desk and demostrate how to put one in....."

** OOOC CRAPNESS!!! ****

Shadow: FLOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to pee again.....

Flower: HAHAHA gonna suck for you tonight at work!!!

Shadow: That's not funny, I'm actually gonna have to tell my bosses why I'm disapearing to the bathroom all the time!!

Flower: In the name of the father , the son and the holy spirit..Prepare to be embarresed tonight...

Shadow: Thou art a vile evil cruel wench thou art.....

Flower: YES! MY LIFES CAUSE IS NOW COMPLETE!!!

Shadow: Damnit , I insult her and she's happy...*Sighs happily* I've missed you Flower....

Flower: I know....

Back to the embarresment called our story.....

The boys in the room groaned in embarresement as a girl moved onto each of the tables, and began to show them exactly how to insert a tampon. Some of the boys began retching while some of them looked on with rapt interest.

Meanwhile Harry and Draco were sheilding their eyes. "Potter, that is the most disgusting thing i have ever seen! Oh my eyes, it burns it burns!!!"

Harry nodded to draco's words as Voldermort began on with their lesson, this went on for another fifeteen minutes, the girls finished up and once they decent enough and throroughly embarressed they all sat down and finished with their lesson for today.

"Now, you miscreants, begone with you and leave me be before i am plagued by you lot again!!" Voldermort shout and swished his wand, the sound of Lady Gaga's Love Game filed the air making the the students stop to stare at the man in bewilderment while old moldy Voldy began to sashay his hips

back and forth singing.

TwinsOfMischief!: Hi hi all, we have finally updated a chapter! We hope you like it, and we will try our hardest to come up with another story out of our asses for you real soon! Please review and loves to all!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

TADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TwinsOfMischief has returned to you our faithful readers. We are sorry, but we are two busy people. Now. To begin with the disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN! Thank you

Sex Education at Hogwarts: Chapter 4

Harry Potter was still reeling from the information of Sex Education. Walking down the hall in a dazed expression he didn't see Fred and George selling magical douches to all the girls who had become interested.

"Disgusting females the lot of them. I'm so glad I'm gay, I don't have to worry about shoving something up my hole and cleansing it because they are too nasty not too." A familiar voice drawled out from an unused classroom. Draco Malfoy sat back in an uncomfortable chair and groaned when the head at his crotch vibrated with a nod of understanding before the man on his knees sucked a particularly hard suck on him. "Merlin, Blaise. Do that roll of your tongue...Yes…Ah!" He cried out as his body arched in pleasure.

Harry started to laugh, "Are you both so desperate that you cannot wait for classes to be over before going at it like rabbits? " He walked away to find Hermione to discuss the latest issue of her BDSM magazine that she received in the mail.

Draco opened his eyes to look behind him and growled out an offensive before reaching down with a completely manly manicured hand and pushed Blaise's head down while bucking up his hips making the boy groan and suck harder. "Bloody potter, who the hell does he think he is? He's just jealous. Bet he couldn't even get a decent blowjob so he has to go and ruin mine…Bloody gorgeous wanker. "He hissed as he came hard down Blaise's throat. Patting the boy's head he stood up pushed the boy away from him, cleaned himself with a spell, tucked his bits back into his pants and swept out of the classroom to attend his next class. Hopefully to taunt potter some more.

**

Hermione was a busy girl, first she had to apologize to a one Pansy Parkinson for Ron's stupidity. He didn't have the finesse to handle girls anymore, perhaps he was turning gay? Is that why he had heaved up all his lunch on the poor girl? Or was it because he was just a lazy fat arse who stuffs himself to the brink that he can't stop anymore? Oh well….Walking down to the Slytherin common room she knocked on the portrait and waited for one of the snakes to open up.

Smiling at one of the younger years, "Is Pansy here?" Waiting for the young person to get the girl was like waiting on Harry to get out of bed. It took FOREVER!

Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click…."Hello Granger..." Pansy Parkinson asked while filing one her nails. She licked her lips and eyed the girl up making Hermione very uncomfortable and squeamish.

Taking in a deep breath Hermione held out a non-manicured hand to the other girl and adopted a huge smile on her face. "I just wanted to come down here and formally apologize on behalf of a one Ronald Bilius Weasley. He was an irresponsible person and I will personally pay for your dry cleaning. "She said proud of herself for not stuttering.

Pansy grinned at the girl before taking the hand and pulling her into the common room making her squeal at the unexpected lurch. "Come Granger, we must talk."

**

Ron was miserable, first of all both of his friends abandoned him at the first sight of controversy and so now he sat on top of the astronomy tower contemplating on just jumping. A little dramatic don't you think? But of course, he wouldn't do that because his friends needed him and plus he didn't want to die just yet. Sitting in his lap though was his only friend. A large bowl of German chocolate cake batter and next to him was a small plastic bowl of freshly washed strawberries that he was dipping into the batter and eating it like it was going out of style.

Never did he notice that a certain boy was watching him from the shadow's biding his time, until he could strike and the fiery redhead would be his!

**

Draco was a happy boy indeed, he had his mid-morning-orgasm and now he was going Potter-Taunting! This was how he got his rocks off in the evening time too. Oh yes, he had it all scheduled out every day.

Morning- Shower/Wank-Breakfast

Midmorning-Suck off

Lunch-Lunch

Midafternoon-Wank to thoughts of Potter/Potter-Taunting

Dinner- Dinner

Afterdinner- Fabulous fuck in his room

Preferably it would be Potter doing all of this, but of course the boy was stubborn and didn't notice the beauty of one Draco Malfoy, so he of course is resulted to plebian means and have to stalk Potter and make sure that he was at least being vocal enough to make the man jealous of what he was doing.

So now he was headed to the Quidditch pitch to find some random hot guy and have a nice midafternoon wank because of course he already acquired his Pottertaunting material and turned it into wanking material.

**

Harry was in a foul mood. First Draco Sodding Malfoy the beautiful git was taunting him for no fucking reason, and now that he was in his happy place, on his broom and in the air he spotted some random sixth year sucking face with his one and long time crush. Cursing he landed and stalked passed them as they made their way into the locker rooms. He thought he heard snickering but couldn't really tell with his own thoughts stewing in his brain. He wanted the git so bad that it was killing him inside to see the boy with so many other people. He was going to have to take drastic measures and soon. Hopefully his sex education class next time would help him out with that.

**

Tom was a happy dark lord; he was sitting in his rooms, eating a bag of cheesy puffs while watching on a crystal orb on what his two favorite students were doing to each other. Maybe he should have them pair off for an assignment and have them go all the way with each other? Maybe that'll help relieve the tension and get them together sooner. Oh yes, this was soooo much better than killing silly little muggles and muggleborns. Cackling he orbed in on a Severus Snape, stuck his hand down his pants underneath his robes and got to pleasuring himself.

"Oh Severus, I want you to fuck me."

Hahahahaha Okay. End of chapter. =D


End file.
